Everything is under control. Please ignore the contradictions.

America is arming Ukraine while easing restrictions on Russian diesel.¹²

Russia must be stopped. But first, would anyone like to buy some diesel?

After a worker died at Russia’s anti-plague institute, tests found no plague. The cause remains unknown.³

The investigation has so far produced the medical equivalent of a Windows error message: Something went wrong.

France promised 3,000 teachers after students took to the streets.⁴

To get someone into the classroom, the children first had to leave it.

OpenAI says its model has resolved more than 100 long-standing maths problems.⁵

Excellent. Now ask it to explain how America is funding both sides of a war and calling it foreign policy.

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