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Edition 6 · Loss of Control

Roast the Week

Your money is safe. Your victory letter is not.

1 min read

About $6.3bn left Binance's wallets in roughly 20 minutes.1 The next day its co-chief executive told customers: "Your money is safe."2

And it is. It's never been safer. It's in North Korea, says the FBI,3 and nobody's getting it out of there.

In Miami, Flávio Bolsonaro, who lost Brazil's election by 4.4 million votes, released a letter calling himself "the true president-elect of Brazil". About an hour later the letter was replaced with one calling him "the leader".4 A family ally blamed ChatGPT.5

So of everyone involved, the only one convinced he'd won was a chatbot.

Meanwhile Alphabet reported revenue of $127.6bn, up 25%,6 and lost about $500bn of its value the next day,7 because investors worried it was spending too much on AI.

Still, it could have been worse. At least Alphabet's AI didn't announce that Alphabet had won.

Cartoon of a beaming executive giving a thumbs-up in front of an empty, wide-open vault while a figure runs off with sacks of money. Caption: Binance, after $6.3bn left in 20 minutes: “Your money is safe.”
AI illustration. Roast the Week. Hindsight Media